Climate Change: The Next Generation: Eli Rabett's Chris Monckton Limerick Contest

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Eli Rabett's Chris Monckton Limerick Contest

UPDATE: Voting is now open

Seeing as a Limerick contest has broken out in the comments about Moncktons Gallop, Eli thought Rabett Run might offer a prize, a ticket (Eli will provide a grant) to one of his lectures in the next year, airfare, housing, etc. NOT included, but Eli will provide a decent bottle of Scotch so you can survive, Eli's choice of course, but Eli has standards. Ms Rabett, OTOH has the check book and the charge card. It will be better than OK but that's all we promise. Multiple entries allowed

To get you started here are the current entries

anonypoe started it all

Once there was a Viscount of Brenchly
Who disputed his critics most contentiously
With a lawsuit in hand
And an imperious demand
No one doubted the defense of His Excellency

Noe one doubted that is save for Poe
Who's Law is unknown by most joes
Now seeing the crank
Raised to high rank
Its impossible to tell the man from the show

A Viscount worried about his reputation
Fired up by an internet disputation
With a bunch of new slides
Screwed up his hurt pride
And revealed a self-mocking refutation.

Andy S

John Abraham once debunked an
Egregious talk by Chris Monckton
So the Lord tried to do
His own Peer review
Which he characteristically flunked on.

Ron Broberg-

Once a Lord of the House came to say
As "b is not a" so "b is not 'not a'"
So as you can see
All things that are 'b'
Are orthogonal to our reality today.

Horatio

There once was a man who used graphs
Equations and more advanced maths --
He dazzled the Tonys
With all his baloneys
And sent them down dead-ended paths.

There once was a man who used graphs
Equations and more advanced maths --
He dazzled the Tonys
With all his baloneys
And sent them down dead-ended paths.

There once was a journalist named Chris
Who thought there was something amiss
With the physics of Newton
Said he 'You're darned tootin'
"I will get to the bottom of this."

There once was a man with Nobel
Pinned to his suit-coat lapel
"When you address me, bow low"
"I'm world famous, you know"

Gareth provides a Clerihew (sorry, Eli has standards) and a limerick

There was a daft Viscount from Brenchley,
Whose shark jumping owed much to Benchley,
His downfall, they say,
Was caused by the way
His politics posed as reality

And . . .

38 comments:

Tim Lambert said...: Second prize is tickets to TWO of his talks.; 14/7/10 7:39 AM
Horatio Algeranon said...: Horatio would much prefer this to watching/listening to Mocktman. ..or maybe that and then the talk.; 14/7/10 8:05 AM
CapitalClimate said...: And how about a new name for the technique? Monckton Muddle; 14/7/10 8:09 AM
Anonymous said...: A clown who calls himself Lord Makes pronouncments that have us all floored He's an upper-class twit who'll throw quite a fit Every time his fat ox gets gored; 14/7/10 8:38 AM
justinp said...: Not a limerick: (The Limerick is a form unsuited to venting pure bile. One can inject far more venom into a cod haiku, for instance. And as for cartoon theme songs based on jazz tunes..) Monckton you snickering, bulgy-eyed hound When decency’s needed you’re never around The drivel that spews from your moth-eaten chest Is facile, deluded, and third-rate at best. So Mock the Monckton Mock the Monckton Mock the Monckton Mock the Monckton Mock that Monckton Howwww! Nab him Jab him Tab him Rag him Mock that Monckton now!; 14/7/10 9:12 AM
willard said...: No promise of single malt, no look under kilt for me.; 14/7/10 9:19 AM
Anonymous said...: An obstreperous journo inclined To distort all the facts he could find Enhanced his credentials To be influential And lie to the willfully blind barrymoose; 14/7/10 9:24 AM
Horatio Algeranon said...: There once was a Lord sent a-leaping From the armchair where he had been sleeping Said he "I know more" "Than that movie by Gore" But his "science" was scarcely in keeping.; 14/7/10 9:50 AM
Anonymous said...: Just discovered 'credentials' can be singular. Lose the 's' and that's my entry. :-) barrymore; 14/7/10 9:57 AM
Horatio Algeranon said...: There once was a blogger name Rabett Who had the most ignoble habit To host goofy verses Award worthless purses And upset deniers, dang-nabbit.; 14/7/10 10:18 AM
Anonymous said...: (I'm having trouble posting this; if my earlier one made it through, please disregard it.) In order to have a small chance at the prize I looked at the climate through Chris Monkton's eyes "Foul is now fairer" or he says so in error with eye-popping nonsense, well, that's no surprise jg; 14/7/10 10:49 AM
Anonymous said...: Everything that they say are all lies! A.G.W I have never denied. So write out a check Or in court I'll object And you will rue my pedantic replies. -anonymous; 14/7/10 12:00 PM
dan satterfield said...: A clown who calls himself Lord Makes pronouncments that have us all floored He's an upper-class twit who'll throw quite a fit Every time his fat ox gets gored MY VOTE GOES FOR THIS ONE~; 14/7/10 1:27 PM
Anonymous said...: And tell the pleasant prince this Monckton of his Hath turn'd his balls to gun-stones; and his soul Shall stand sore charged for the wasteful vengeance That shall fly with them: for many a thousand widows Shall this his monckton monck out of their dear husbands; Monck mothers from their sons, monck castles down; And some are yet ungotten and unborn That shall have cause to curse the Monckton's scorn. -M; 14/7/10 1:30 PM
a_ray_in_dilbert_space said...: One would think it would give a man pause; Were he ignorant of natural laws; To debate with the giants; In matters of science; On a subject with a well known cause. But the Viscount says, "Ho! Damn the science! To the facts I intend to do violence; And to deny the truth; While deluding the youth; As long as it suits all my clients." And as they form credulous ranks; Devotees of Ayn Rand, he gives thanks; With the strength of a cougar; Take note Dunning and Kruger; Watch him laugh all the way to the bank!; 14/7/10 6:33 PM
jcrabb said...: there once was a man of fancy class who carried on like an ass in Climate science he did dabble for fear of the uppity rabble now his charade has been dissected his status terminally affected; 14/7/10 6:36 PM
Michael Tobis said...: There once was a Viscount of Bench- ley Who thought he might win out eventual- ly, Spouting his nonsense With no hint of conscience And emitting a litigious stench. -- mt; 14/7/10 7:43 PM
Rattus Norvegicus said...: There once was a Viscount from Brenchly Who thought he might win eventually But in the end it turned out That his long stream of prattle Was all hat and very few cattle; 14/7/10 8:51 PM
Gareth said...: dilbert_space wins!; 14/7/10 11:07 PM
Anonymous said...: ...Marco There once was a man less mentally deft than the humble mollusc (The result of banging his head repeatedly against a bright pink portcullis) When he hadn’t a clue He thought it a grand thing to sue Professor John Abraham of Thomas Aquinas; 15/7/10 7:27 AM
JMurphy said...: There once was a crude, merry Monckton, Who relied on a sorry assumption : That fools will follow, And the gullible swallow, His pseudo-scientific dysfunction.; 15/7/10 7:39 AM
ch said...: This post has been removed by the author.; 15/7/10 1:27 PM
chek said...: There once was a Viscount named Chris Who everyone thought was taking the piss. He had the understanding of climate of a shit-flinging primate and kept wondering what was amiss.; 15/7/10 1:31 PM
Anonymous said...: I am known as a climate dissembler, Chief misinformation assembler Penetrate my pink gate And your urges I'll sate Unless you're a crustacean resembler. Heratclitus; 15/7/10 2:25 PM
Dano said...: I sat down to pen a Limerick 'bout an insecure potty-peer dimwit. I publish'd it, but alas What got shoved up my *ss Was a lawsuit with small hope to acquit. Best, D; 15/7/10 4:10 PM
Anonymous said...: Lord Monckton, I admire your tenacity I really don't know how you keep going You're dealing with people Who live in an alternative reality Where limericks scan well and rhyme barrylast; 15/7/10 6:00 PM
ourchangingclimate said...: Neven over at Deltoid: (http://scienceblogs.com/deltoid/2010/07/i_think_that_they_might_have_t.php#comment-2656764) I'm too witty for the nerds Too witty for the nerds, so witty it hurts I'm too witty for this scam Too witty for this scam, New York and Japan And I'm too witty for your science Too witty for your science The way I'm Gish Galloping I'm a noble, you know what I mean And I do my little turn for Rush Limbaugh For Rush Limbaugh For Rush Limbaugh, yeah I tell my little lies for Rush Limbaugh I'm too witty for the truth, truth's going to leave me Posted by: Neven | July 14, 2010 6:58 AM Bart; 16/7/10 2:24 AM
Zibethicus said...: There once was a fellow called Monckton Who hired himself out to a 'function' He lied about climate So much of the time that A transcript was weighed by the Bunk-Tonne (Bt).; 16/7/10 4:42 PM
Anonymous said...: A ludicrous lord named chris Thought Abraham was taking the piss He yelled and he farted Wondered how it all started That his career should end like this John McManus; 20/7/10 6:17 AM
indulisb said...: Monckton's kidney had heard some bad news, Like the brain it was often confused. It mistook "lie analysis" For the dreaded dialysis, And to make piss it promptly refused. Lord Monckton created a stink, "I'm a Lord despite what they think, I have made an arrangement To disprove my derangement, I've painted my portcullis pink" "Oh listen and kneel at my feet, You're in for a fabulous treat, Though with truth I am lax, It's a debate not hard facts, And if you disagree you're Nazi elite!"; 28/7/10 9:34 AM
indulisb said...: Lord Monckton was caught telling lies, (Being caught is what he really despised), "But I'm allowed much leeway, In any mad things I say, It said on the box with my last Nobel prize!"; 28/7/10 9:55 AM
indulisb said...: In the interests of getting it JUST RIGHT Lord Monckton created a stink, "I'm not a Loon despite what they think, I have made an arrangement To disprove my derangement, I've painted my portcullis pink"; 28/7/10 10:02 AM
indulisb said...: Must break out of perfectionist loop trap! Monckton's kidney had heard some bad news, But like the brain it was often confused. "Abraham lie analysis" It misheard as "dialysis", And to make piss it promptly refused.; 28/7/10 10:12 AM
indulisb said...: Said Monckton "I feel quite disturbed, by this Abraham's claims so absurd. His ad hominem attacks, On my graphs and my facts, This proves he's a prawn and a turd!" (I am definitely stuck in an OCD Limerick state now); 29/7/10 4:25 AM
Anonymous said...: Don't ascribe to him motives quite evil, He's really a thing quite primeval, That scuttles around, While making a sound, That's a cross twixt a leech and a weevil. Ann O' namouse; 29/7/10 6:19 AM
Anonymous said...: "You'll try to disprove me- you can't!" Proclaimed Lord Monckton once to his old Aunt, "I'll quote physics formulas three, (Though I've a Latin degree), And make up another, a most cunning stunt!" (Ann O' No-mouse); 29/7/10 6:29 AM
Anonymous said...: "The question of Why? is unfurled, And climate change vitriol I've hurled, I'm an android you see, With a Latin Degree, Asimov's three laws don't mention the world" Android-on-a-mouse; 29/7/10 6:37 AM
Anonymous said...: From SteveP A privileged peer of the realm, Made words up, meant to overwhelm, “They may not be true, But I’ll not be through, ‘Till plutocrat hands guide the helm”; 8/8/10 6:51 AM